The Mother In Me

I am Sasha. I am a woman. I am a green beauty blogger. I am a mother. I am a masseuse. I am a beauty therapist. I am a friend.

Sometimes it’s hard to remember that these things come together as a whole, and make me, me. Too often I concentrate on perfecting one thing, and the others get forgotten about. This year I feel like the mother part had most of the attention, but not the ideal kind. After spending a good part of the year in a Mother and Baby Unit, and now having social services involvement, my mothering has felt very much under scrutiny, and it’s been hard to see the positives. But something happened at the end of the year that really sparked a little hope, and a little joy, in the mother in me.

Since becoming a family of four, we’ve barely taken photos. In fact, I believe we have one, only ONE, of the four of us together. So I decided to take action, and invited lovely photographer Abigail over, to capture some of our regular (UNPOSED!!!) family life on camera.

The morning was a blur of over enthusiastic toddlers, duplo, satsumas, and laughter. With the light (and the children) certainly not on our side I was a bit concerned whether Abigail had even managed to get one shot. I was pleasantly surprised!!!

Clicking through the finished photos brought tears to my eyes. I’ve been feeling so much like a failure recently, it was incredibly emotional seeing these images of our family life. Depression feeds you silly little ideas, “your children hate you”, “you can never make them happy”. These photos were solid proof of exactly the opposite. Smiling faces, playful poses, little loving glances. It empowered me. It gave me a little slither of confidence.

To see more of Abigail’s beautiful photography check out her website, and her blog.

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